Over the next few weeks, I will be writing about various topics that are included in The KARMA Method, the signature coaching and therapeutic method used by Bespoke Wellness Partners. My hope is that these topics will allow you to reflect and make you more aware of where you are on your specific journey with whatever struggles you may be facing. Today’s blog is about building the foundation of a strong relationship.
It is no secret that relationships can be tricky. Having a strong, dependable relationship with someone meaningful in your life, whether it be a friend, family member, or romantic partner, is something we all strive for but it’s not something that just happens. For some, this isn't exactly a surprise, but for others, it's the first time they've completely grasped the concept of a relationship foundation. To me, the term "foundation" refers to the elements that go into creating a happy relationship and outcome. And, like a house with shaky or seriously broken flooring, roofing, or walls, it can't stand upright or offer protection if the foundation isn't there to begin with.
So how do you create a strong foundation for your relationship? Here are some concrete things you can do.
#1 Identify a Relationship with Yourself
Before you can have a meaningful connection with others, you must first become conscious of the relationship you have with yourself. The way you experience connections with others is determined by your relationship with yourself. It is difficult to become conscious of your relationship with yourself, but there are steps you can take. I frequently advise clients to make a list of their favorite and least favorite attributes in order to become more aware. After that, take a moment to think about the attributes you listed about yourself. How difficult was it to list your positive qualities against your negative ones? Whether you listed more favorable or undesirable aspects of yourself, it is critical to understand how to take the necessary actions to build a healthy connection with yourself. The core of your character and how you connect with others is your relationship with yourself.
#2 Strong Sense of Trust
Trust is one of the key building stones in friendships, as it is in other relationships. We require trust in order to form and deepen relationships. With companions, trust helps us to feel secure—safe to establish plans and safe to share ourselves and our lives. Trust necessitates that we maintain our promises and demonstrate reliability, respect, and honesty. It is crucial to evaluate and comprehend what trust means to us and what it means to our companions. We must demonstrate our trustworthiness to one another. In a friendship, trust may be created and maintained in a variety of ways but it must exist for the relationship to have a future.
#3 Be Present
We communicate to the individual in front of us that they are important and deserving of our attention when we are present. With technology following us when we spend time with people, this might be more difficult nowadays. Being neglected by a loved one is never a good feeling. You want to make your friend feel valued. Through friendship, we may experience the truth of being present even when we are away, which can help us think critically about personal presence overall. Ask yourself if you are truly present in conversations, during shared time with loved ones, or even in long-distance situations. Most of us know what it’s like to feel like someone is truly present for us and we have all probably experienced the opposite as well. It can be easy to forget to be present, though, and your relationships will suffer.
Always keep in mind that each relationship is unique, and while you might have different sorts of connections with people, most healthy relationships have points in common. For example, feeling comfortable, continuous support, shared experiences, comparable interests, open and honest communication, and sincerity are all components of healthy relationships. Most significantly, it’s important to remember that good partnerships do have ups and downs, which are generally misinterpreted. Just because you are not happy 100% of the time, it does not make a relationship unhealthy. What’s important is the foundation of that relationship. Strong foundations can survive the ups and downs.
It’s also okay to reach out and ask for help if you feel like you are struggling in one (or several) of your relationships. Perhaps you are having a difficult time with one of these tips, like identifying the relationship with yourself. Recognizing shaky foundations can be a powerful tool, and we are always here to help at Bespoke Wellness.