With today being Valentine’s Day, we wanted to remind you that the most important person to love is yourself! I hope that the following blog, written by Etta Krinsky, the newest member of Bespoke’s Team reminds you how to love yourself!
We know all about romantic love. It’s in our movies, our books, our daily conversations, and definitely all over our social media. But what about self-love? Real self-love that can help heal us, protect us, and empower us? A true relationship with ourselves that we value, prioritize, and enjoy? There are many ways to develop a relationship with yourself, and at the end of the day, it is going to be personal and unique to you. Self-love is so important to feel more confident and comfortable in who you are. Here are 4 useful skills to work on that will begin the process of changing the way you look at yourself, which will then have a deep impact on the way you interact with the world.
Self-Validation
When we feel anxious or stressed or feel a strong emotion about something, we tend to diminish ourselves. We tend to say “oh stop it, there is nothing to feel anxious about, calm down, you’re being ridiculous.” What would it look like if we changed that narrative and validated ourselves? What if we spoke to ourselves in the midst of anxiety and said “it makes so much sense that you’re feeling anxious – this is a situation that triggers you! It’s so normal that you feel this way. It’s okay to feel this way.” Some people might assume that would be like encouraging your anxiety and making it worse. The opposite is true. When we can validate our emotions, they take up less space.
Mirror Work
Every time you find yourself in front of a mirror, say three kind things to yourself. Spend a few minutes every morning gazing at yourself in the mirror and speaking kindly to yourself, giving yourself a pep talk for the day. This begins to develop a relationship with yourself that is based on kindness and love, and strengthens your belief in yourself. It’s wonderful to be surrounded by people who believe in us, but it’s even more exciting when we believe in ourselves.
Practice Forgiveness
Have you ever made a mistake that you just can’t stop beating yourself up over? It plays over and over, and each time you feel stupid all over again. What would that experience look like if the next time it rises to your mind, you took a deep breath, and took a moment to forgive yourself? We forgive other people for things they do all the time. Can we forgive ourselves also? Forgiving yourself can look like closing your eyes, or looking at yourself in the mirror, and saying “I know that you made a mistake, and it’s over now. It’s in the past. It is okay to make mistakes, and I forgive myself for making this one.”
Create Self-Love Habits
When you are in a relationship or friendship, you develop methods and little ways to let the other person know that you love them. Maybe a quick text or you buy them coffee or bring a souvenir home when you are traveling. This is how human relationships work. When we prioritize and care for someone else, we often show it with tangible actions. We can do that for ourselves too. The next time you buy a coffee, reframe it for a moment and recognize that you are buying yourself something that is giving you fuel and energy because you love yourself. The next time you’re traveling, buy something for yourself as a reminder of how much you love yourself. Write yourself a letter, in which you celebrate who you are.
Your relationship with yourself is going to be the most important one in your life. Working on this relationship is a lifelong and always-changing experience. But, over time, as you implement these small ways of showing love to yourself, it will begin to become more instinctive. Every time you do something to show yourself kindness and love, even something tiny, you are choosing yourself. When we do this over and over, great change is made.
Let us know how you will practice self love this Valentine’s Day!
Need some more inspiration? Read our past blogs here.
Love,
Limor, Etta, and the Bespoke Team