7 Days to Loving Yourself (So You Can Choose the Right Love)

A Valentine countdown that starts today!

As I’m getting ready to open the Center for Self Love, and with Valentine’s Day just days away, I want to offer a different kind of Valentine challenge.

Not flowers.

Not pressure.

Not proving anything.

Just you and one gentle question:

What would change if you treated yourself like someone you love?

At age 50, love feels very different for me than it used to. It feels calmer. Safer. Less like I’m holding my breath. And I didn’t get here by accident.

I got here by changing the way I speak to myself.

So for the next seven days, I’m inviting you to try something simple with me.

Not perfect. Not dramatic. Just real.

Why This Matters (And Why I’m Sharing This Now)

I’m starting this series because I know what it feels like to live with negative self-talk and self-hatred. And I have also witnessed something that breaks my heart again and again. So many people are kind, loving, and generous to everyone else, yet they forget to offer that same love to themselves. They focus on taking care of others, but inside, they feel small, unsure, and unconfident.

For a long time, I also thought love was supposed to feel intense. Fast. Consuming. I confused familiarity with safety and chemistry with connection.

What I didn’t realize then was this.

The way you speak to yourself becomes the way you experience love.

When your inner voice is harsh or anxious, love often feels the same way.

When your inner voice becomes kinder, love begins to feel safer.

That’s why we’re starting here.

It starts with you...

Day 1 (Today): Make a Tiny Commitment

Put one hand on your heart.

Close your eyes for a moment.

Take one slow breath.

Now say, quietly or out loud:

“I love you.”

Yes, to yourself.

If that feels awkward or emotional, you’re not doing it wrong.

If you don’t believe it yet, that’s okay.

Today isn’t about believing.

It’s about showing up.

If you need another option, try:

“I am willing to learn how to love myself.”

That counts.

"I love you"

Day 2: Ask the Question That Changes Everything

Today, ask yourself:

Do I love myself

How do I know

And the most important one

Do I want to love myself

There’s no right answer.

As you sit with these questions, do one simple thing.

Notice the words that come in and out of your mind like waves.

Inhale.

Exhale.

Let the thoughts pass without judging them. Without fixing them. Without criticizing yourself for what shows up.

This is for you. With love and intention.

Just notice what comes up.

Curiosity is self-love.

Do it with love...

Day 3: Stop Sign Day (Your Red Words)

Write down three words or phrases you use when you’re hard on yourself.

Examples:

“I’m stupid.”

“I’m too much.”

“I hate my body.”

Use a red marker if you have one, or draw a stop sign around the words.

Now ask yourself one more question:

Do I want to continue using these words?

Take a slow inhale.

And on the exhale, imagine breathing those red words out of your mind and body.

Not with force. Not with anger. Just with intention.

Not because you’re bad for thinking them.

But because these are stop words, not truths.

Awareness is the first shift.

Day 4: Green Words (Words of Love)

Today, choose three kinder words you can practice instead.

Examples:

“I am kind.”

“I am a good friend.”

“I am learning.”

“I am doing my best.”

Pick words that feel believable.

Not perfect. Not cheesy. Just true enough.

Now turn it into a simple practice.

Close your eyes.

Take a slow inhale and silently breathe in your green words.

As you exhale, imagine these green, safe, loving words washing over your body like warm light, coloring you green from the inside out.

Let the words reach your chest, your stomach, your arms, your legs, every organ, every part of you.

If any other words interfere, do not fight them.

Just breathe them out.

And breathe the green words back in.

Repeat as many times as you want.

What you practice grows stronger.

Day 5: The Loving Mirror Exercise (60 Seconds)

Stand in front of a mirror for one minute.

Be curious, not cruel.

If thoughts pop up like:

“My nose is too big.”

“I look old.”

“My face looks fat.”

Pause and say gently:

“I hear you. And I’m not using stop words with myself anymore.”

You’re not fighting the thought.

You’re setting a boundary with it.

That is self-love

Day 6: Validate Yourself (This Is the Secret Sauce).

What is self-validation, and why does it matter?

Self-validation means pausing rather than attacking yourself when a negative thought or feeling arises. It is the moment you choose understanding over criticism.

Most negative cycles sound like this:

I feel bad → I judge myself for feeling bad → I feel worse → I say even harsher things to myself.

Self-validation interrupts that cycle.

When you say, “It makes sense that I feel this way,” you stop fighting yourself. You create space. Your body relaxes, even just a little. And in that space, you regain the ability to choose kinder words and better responses.

Self-validation does not mean the negative thought is true.

It means you are no longer at war with yourself.

And when you stop the war, change becomes possible.

Validation sounds like this:

“It makes sense that I feel this way.”

Example:

It makes sense that I would speak harshly to myself after a mistake or comparison, especially if I’m feeling tired, overwhelmed, or under pressure.

Safety breaks the cycle.

Safety allows growth.

Day 7 (Valentine’s Day): Reframe and Give Yourself the Best Gift

First: Self-Validate to Break the Cycle

Before you reframe a red thought, validate yourself. This is what breaks the negative cycle.

Negative cycle:

I feel bad → I judge myself → I feel worse → the red words get louder.

Self-validation interrupts it:

“It makes sense that I feel this way.”

Example:

It makes sense that I feel not good enough right now, especially if I am tired, stressed, or comparing myself to others.

Validation does not mean the thought is true.

It means you stop fighting yourself.

Then: Reframe and Practice (60 seconds)

Red thought: “I’m not good enough.”

Green sentence: “I’m doing my best, and I’m allowed to grow.”

Go to the mirror and repeat your green sentence for 60 seconds, even while brushing your teeth.

If another red thought shows up, say:

“I hear you. And I’m choosing kinder words with myself.”

What you practice grows stronger.

Your words are your power.

Be the hero of your story, not the victim of it.

Want Help Staying With This Practice?

If you’re reading this and thinking,

I like this… but I know myself… I might forget or drift,

You’re not alone.

That’s exactly why I’m turning this into a short blog series.

Over the next few weeks, I’ll be sharing reflections and simple practices that help you:

Stay consistent with self-love

Understand why this works (without overwhelm)

Learn how language shapes safety and confidence

Practice skills you can actually use with yourself and with others

Each post will build on the one before it, gently helping you internalize this work instead of just reading about it.

If you’d like the next post sent straight to your inbox, you can sign up here.

No pressure.

No spam.

Just thoughtful reminders to stay on your own side.

What will the Next Blog Will Be About?

The next post in this series will focus on something most people miss:

Why self-love isn’t about confidence, and why safety comes first.

I’ll share:

Why “just be confident” doesn’t work

What’s really happening in the nervous system

Why teens struggle so much with self-criticism

And how to build safety using words, not force

If you want support turning these ideas into something you actually feel, I’d love to have you with me.

👉 Sign up to receive the next post

Love,

Limor