Choose Love That Enhances Your Life

How to Stay Whole While Falling in Love

If you read my last post, 7 Days to Loving Yourself So You Can Choose the Right Love, you already know this.

Self-love is not about being alone.

It is about being whole.

And today feels like the perfect day to continue that conversation.

Yesterday I walked outside and saw flowers everywhere.

Men carrying roses.

People rushing with bouquets.

The city is buzzing with anticipation.

And I remembered last Valentine’s Day.

My three-year relationship had just ended with someone I truly loved and cared about. I was in bed crying, questioning everything. Wondering if I would ever feel that kind of love again.

Fast forward one year.

I am almost three months into a new relationship. I am feeling the love. And honestly, is Valentine’s Day not the perfect day to say I love you?

A few days ago, he told me he loves me. It felt so good. So genuine. So real. It was obvious that I felt the same.

But I was not ready to say it yet.

And I loved that part too.

I loved experiencing falling in love. The butterflies. The excitement. The feeling of being a teenager again in the best way.

And while it felt good to be loved, don’t we all want that?

But here is what is different this time.

I am at a point in my life where I am satisfied on my own.

I have a successful practice.

Three beautiful girls.

An incredible family.

A strong group of friends.

And I do work that I truly love.

My life is full.

The person who becomes my partner does not need to complete me.

He needs to enhance what already exists.

He needs to add value, peace, depth, and joy.

Not confusion.

Not heaviness.

Not a feeling of being pulled down.

Love should make a strong life stronger.

This time, I promised myself I would choose differently.

Here is how.

1. Choose Connection From Calm

Before I reached out, I checked myself.

Was I texting because I genuinely wanted to share something?

Or because I needed reassurance?

There were moments early on where I felt the urge to overthink. To analyze. To look for signs.

Instead of reacting, I paused.

If I reached out, it would be because I desired connection. Not because I was afraid of being alone.

When you can soothe yourself and still choose someone, that is grounded love.

It starts with you...

2. Strengthen Your Self-Worth First

In the past, I sometimes looked for love to validate me.

This time, I asked myself:

If this relationship ended tomorrow, would I still feel worthy?

That question kept me honest.

I did not ignore red flags.

I did not excuse behavior that did not align.

I paid attention to whether the connection was built on true respect.

And I paid attention to something just as important.

Can we have honest, open conversations about real topics, even when they are uncomfortable?

Because real love is not chemistry alone.

It is a connection.

It is consistency.

It is mutual respect.

It is an honest conversation, even when it is hard.

And I made sure I saw that clearly before letting myself fall deeper.

"I love you."

3. Choose Love That Feels Safe

This changed everything for me.

I asked myself:

Does this relationship bring peace?

Or does it create tension?

When I am with him, I feel calm.

I feel safe.

I feel able to exhale.

That matters.

Feeling safe in love means your nervous system is not constantly on alert.

You are not walking on eggshells.

You are not replaying every conversation.

You are not scanning for signs that something is wrong.

In the past, I confused intensity with love.

If it felt dramatic or slightly chaotic, I thought that meant it was deep.

Now I know something different.

Real love allows your body to soften.

It feels steady.

It feels secure.

It feels like coming home, not bracing for impact.

And steady does not mean boring.

Steady means healthy. Do it with love...

4. Let Yourself Take Up Space

I promised myself I would not shrink.

If something bothered me, I would say it kindly.

If I needed clarity, I would ask.

If I needed space, I would take it.

I also noticed something subtle.

Early on, there was a night when he drove forty-five minutes each way to meet me for dinner after seeing patients all day.

I remember feeling bad.

I started thinking, maybe this is too much. Maybe I should cancel. Maybe I am asking for too much.

Even though he made it clear he was happy to do it. That he wanted to see me. That I was worth the drive.

In the past, I might have minimized myself. I might have insisted he not come. Or felt guilty for receiving that kind of effort.

But this time, I paused.

I let myself receive it.

I allowed someone to show up for me without apologizing for existing.

That is also what it means to take up space.

It is not just about speaking up when something feels wrong.

It is about allowing someone to care for you without shrinking, deflecting, or feeling like you are too much.

And what I found was this.

When love is based on true connection and respect, your needs are not a burden.

Effort is not something you have to earn.

You do not have to become smaller to stay loved.

5. Choose a Partner Who Enhances Your Life

At this stage in my life, love is not about filling a void.

It is about building something meaningful on top of something already strong.

The right partner adds value.

He brings more laughter.

More depth.

More stability.

More growth.

He enhances your peace instead of disturbing it.

He makes your already full life even richer.

That is the standard.

Last year, I was crying in bed.

This year, I am smiling.

Not just because someone loves me.

But because I love myself enough to choose a love that enhances my life.

And today, from a place of steadiness, honesty, and real connection, I get to say something I waited to say.

I love you.

Happy Valentine’s Day.

What will the Next Blog Will Be About?

The next post in this series will focus on something most people miss:

Why self-love isn’t about confidence, and why safety comes first.

I’ll share:

Why “just be confident” doesn’t work

What’s really happening in the nervous system

Why teens struggle so much with self-criticism

And how to build safety using words, not force

If you want support turning these ideas into something you actually feel, I’d love to have you with me.

Love,

Limor